


Oh No!

by MsBarrows



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen, Humor, Kink Meme, Microfic, Wordcount: 100-500, k!meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-28
Updated: 2011-09-28
Packaged: 2017-10-26 09:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsBarrows/pseuds/MsBarrows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Delicious.com changed hands, and lost major parts of its functionality. Since it's used for indexing the stories posted on the Dragon Age Kink LJ community, many readers were understandably upset - suddenly it was near-impossible to locate any stories, much less properly filter the results to find ones of particular interest.</p><p>There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth on the forums, and multiple new posts by people squawking over the change without bothering to first see if there was an existing thread already discussing the problem. I decided to turn one such post into a humorous explanation of the problem and its temporary solution at the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh No!

“Varric! Have you seen what the chantry has done to your stories!?” Isabella cried out as she came running into his suite at the Hanged Man.

Varric looked up from polishing Bianca. “What are you talking about Rivaini?”

“Meredith came across a copy of “Hard In Hightown: Templar's Touch” and declared all your books seditious material. She'd ordered them all gathered and _burned!_ "

“Oh no! That's my life's work!” Varric exclaimed, then jumped to his feet, a grim expression crossing his face. “This will not stand! Get Hawke, Blondie and Daisy... and Choir-Boy too, I suppose – I have a plan.”

* * *

  
“Are you sure about this?” Merrill asked, pausing with her dagger held high.

“Yes, just do it, Kitten,” Isabella told her.

“All right,” she said dubiously. The knife flashed down, splitting hide. Hawke began casting, and sheets of paper fountained high into the air, spilling out from between the severed covers. Turbulent winds spread them far and wide. Merril grimly picked up the next book in the stack, and the next, adding more and more pages to the storm.

“All right, you know what to do,” Varric told Sebastian. Sebastian gave him a nod of agreement, and the two men raised their bows and fired. Sheaths of arrows rose high into the air, split apart, turned and began to rain down. Anders gave a shout, and lightning flashed, the arrowstorm converted instantly to thousands of sharp slivers.

Varric grinned widely when the dust settled. “Let Meredith try to censor _that_ ,” he said proudly.

The citizens of Kirkwall woke the next day to find copies of “Templar's Touch” pinned to every reasonably flat surface in town.

 **PSA:** The k!meme pinboard page can be found at http://pinboard.in/u:dragonage_kink/ - you may find it of more use for now than Delicious, at least until Delicious extracts their head from their rear.


End file.
